"Bitterness is the coward's revenge on the world for having been hurt."
— Zora Neale Hurston
I know that this linguistically, aesthetically, socially, culturally and morally is incorrect: but, I fucks with Zora Neale Hurston. And that is the most sincere, to-the-point way that I can describe just how much I not only admire but do respect her and her work; everything she stood for and stood against. The time she came of age in, is vastly different from that of my own, but our stories, the words we choose to use - or the words that choose to use us, remind me of who I would have been if I too came of age in her lifetime. And though my choice of words may not garner the most or best respect that she is justly due - to say I admire, adore, respect, look up to this woman and her literary work, would undermine just how much I really do admire, adore, respect, and look up to this woman. So to say I fucks with Zora Neale Hurston, linguistically, is a terminology that I'm sure will pull in and grasp a 14 year old city girl who's preparing to walk into high school having not a clue what life has in store for her. And maybe, she'll read this and want to too fucks with Zora Neale Hurston.
Make no question nor qualms, this is not about ones or my vocabulary in the least bit, but about the simplest and most human way to get a point across. And sometimes, to get that point across is to approach a situation, person, or idea, differently than most individuals would, or previously have. Just like in courting and in love, we nab hearts because our approach was different, or our kiss was sweeter and more sensual, passionate than our predecessor.
I fell upon Zora Neale Hurston as a sophomore, maybe a junior in high school. Her legendary book There Eyes Were Watching God, I found in a classroom, flipped the green book on its face, read the back, and had to have it. It wasn't stealing either because when you steal something, usually, you really don't need it. I needed this book. And sure enough, I read it in I want to say two days, and since, if you will, I've been obsessed with learning about this woman in particular and that time period. She came of age around the time of the Harlem Renaissance, which I had already been deftly obsessed with since I learned who Langston Hughes was as a little girl being snatched up and held onto by the world of poetry and words. I had always been amazed since a child that this movement was successful because of folk who looked just like me. But when my eyes crossed paths with Ms. Hurston and her fiery swagger that was unmatched for her time, I realized a few things - one in particular being the type of woman I was then growing into.
As I would grow older and experience more in life, I would seek her words by way of quotes because even in simple words and phrases, her sass is always evidently apparent. And its her sass I've tried to take pieces of over the years.
Aside from the obvious timing of life's hardships and time itself, her words in a large sense have taught me that time is not to be transcended, but to be marveled in. Not escaped, but only to be anticipated and pray that it be on our side. It's the years we've succeeded
that come along with it leave their marks on our faces and bodies - lets it be known with a quick glimpse how sincere or harsh our years have been. Whether thru wrinkles, scars, or dimly shimmering eyes, those around us get a quick picture of what sorts of lives we've led just with a quick glimpse.
At the end of every spring and entrance of every summer, I pray for summer to be gentle to me. I ask for it to allow me to live a life I've never lived before, but one that is understanding and conducive to me and those that share my space. I pray for it to be joyful and glad, for it to be full of proud memories and collective photos to tell the stories without me ever having to purse lips to began to tell what that summer was all about.
One thing I've learned, is that time and life doesn't keep in your life what or who doesn't belong; who doesn't add to us beneficially. And regardless of how much we disagree with such an idea or thought, the best is done for us for be better. And often, it's done before we understand the magnitude of the situation. Whether its a friendship, relationship, residence or career move - everything in life has a motive and we're simply accomplices.
Life lets us be cocky. It warrants us to challenge ideas of what is and what isn't acceptable. It allows us to change ourselves and who we think we are time after time; to be more than one person in the lifetime we spend here. And if we're lucky enough, we cross paths with those who teach us and show us who we don't want to be: the horrid step-parents, the creepy teacher with a mole on her face, the boyfriend from hell, or the self-centered "friend". And if we're really lucky, we learn about people like Zora Neale Hurston, who teach us that there's nothing in this life that's off limits to us - and it's our responsibility to seize every moment and opportunity that we want and thus deserve.
It's taken me a long time to learn a lot of lessons; some lessons have taken more trials than they really should have, but the lesson was learned. Some, have drained me of nearly every piece of probable or possible energy I had in me, but yet I mustered the strength to keep going, and eventually relinquish all rights and responsibilities.
"Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
Zora Neale Hurston, 1891-1960
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Beyoncé
BEST THING I NEVER HAD
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