Just For Me

There's no part of this life that is guaranteed to us. Not our next breathe, next smile, or next day. And if we're lucky enough to be given tomorrow, or enough hours in today, they ought to chronicle the best of us - and nothing short of it. We spend so much time planning for the days, weeks, months, years - lifetimes - to come, we fail to realize that none of these things are promised. Either that, or we knowingly attempt to fight time hoping to come out on top.


The plans are easy to make. It's putting them into action that sometimes we get stuck. It's the second nature second thoughts that overtake us. It's the wondering what others will think, snicker, or say. It's the issue of giving others whether consciously or not, power over our lives to determine what we will or will not do.


I'm guilty of these things. Daydreaming days away wishing and hoping for something to change. But change is a mind-frame, a way of life. It's not something that just happens, it's created and formed. It's birthed through our actions and raised via our practices. It's homegrown and a reflection of the best, or the worst of us. It's ingrained so deeply into us, that often, we have to dive into ourselves to seek it and bring it's glory to the forefront.


I, am guilty of everything in this. I, deep sea self dive all the time all because I spend so much time and dedicate so much energy attempting to please those who ensure they please themselves. I, cheat myself out of my own happiness that when the time comes, and they have come dozens of times before, I look back, and see no part of me. I don't see the me that I think I'm grooming day-by-day. I don't and haven't seen the me that I envisioned years ago. I see instead, a self that I don't quite recognize.


I've been spending the last few weeks in my mind organizing and prioritizing. I spend more time than a little bit in my head attempting to make peace with myself and the foreseen issues that others may or may not - assumed fears. Spending time giving myself permission to be who I am and permission to live my life as it is: my life. Ensuring not to vilify myself for being who I am and who I am growing into. These, are the steps to power moves; these are the steps to a life that is plentiful and full. These, are the steps to self-empowerment and constant self-improvement. 


These processes of change and alterations are necessary in this life regardless of how often or how much or how hard we fight them. These changes force us to stare at ourselves as we are in the mirror and accept the reflection. Accept the us that everyone else wants to change. Accept our growth and our change. Accept us as we were made. Accept us as we are to become. And accept those who will join along with us in the journey.


Why not make this the best while we're here? Why not allow our lives to be the best reflection of who we are, where we come from, and how we've gotten here? All I know is that for me when it's all said and done, it'll all be worth it. And I pray the same to be the case for you.


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